To live is not enough, we also need some sunshine, flowers...and some good mates
Do You Dance? I Hope You Dance
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-S_ApiIE8eqGnvFnhcOBq1DkdA58nN9M-?cq=...
I have always done the things I wanted to do in my life, or tried to do as many of the things I wanted to do.
My father was always saying," If I had done that I would now have or be this..." and this was to have a great impact on my life. One day I looked at his life, and thought, 'There is me in 20 years time..."
So, I looked at the things I needed to change in my life, and changed them...starting with my marriage.
I dissolved the negating marriage, I returned to study at University, and upgrade my Teaching and my other qualifications, I started painting and drawing again, I joined the Army Reserve, and I joined the groups I wanted to. I was a member of Toastmasters, Rotary, Penguins and Quot Quotta. I also joined the Australian College of Education and Educational Researchers, and started using my best Waterford Crystal, (which I bought one each pay), and I started buying upmarket labels, french perfumes, and giving myself things I had previously said I could not afford, and doing things like having weekends away and going out dancing and sailing and eventually learning to fly.
I still join what I want to join, start what I want to start, and work and play to the best of my desire and ability, and I have had, and am having a rich and full life. It is simply giving up your fear of thinking you are not entitled to the best, and settling for second best in life, that keeps so many of us afraid to venture outside known limits.
I am writing this because there are so many readers here who want to do something new with their lives and do not know how to do it....Start like the lady here...start using your best things and treating yourself, and taking some responsibility to care for yourself as well as others.
'I Hope You Dance... '
This was written by an 83-year-old woman to her friend. *The last line says it all. *
Dear Bertha,
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.
I'm guessing; I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
.............................................................................................................
Why am I bringing back an old message?
I am talking this because it has still a message for us all..... Not only are we not living the lives we want to live, we are also negating, and being envious of others, who choose to live the life they want to live. Wasted energy when it can be used to laugh and smile and enjoy what the day has brought.
On Christmas Day, again I was shown that my life is still one that is envied by others. The statement that 'You think you are better than other people' halted me in my preparations for a Christmas Feast.
I took this to mean that the things I am doing are threatening another's security. I had forgotten in my delight of giving and living, that others see this in a different light to me. Enjoying life, and using skills and experiences, are seen as being better than others, by someone enjoying the very skills that are so freely given and shared, not as charity, but with love and enthusiasm.
By all means Dance when you hear the Music, but why feel lessened by the energy and joy of another, when you can be strengthened and motivated too, and also choose to dance, or just sit and watch. Why waste energy negating the pleasure of another and others? Join in, or go away.
In life it is futile to expect to be liked, admired, respected or even accepted by everyone.
We are drawn irresistibly towards some people. I read blogs, (Rooster and Tom, and Science) I read others and click delete. Looking at the reasons we are attracted, is also interesting, as the reasons invariably tells us about ourselves and our perception of our own person. I always turn away from bad language, and what I see as 'smutty talk', even if the content is good. We keep what we wish to keep, and discard that which we do not wish to keep, or that which threatens or challenges us in some way. Making your life as you choose, is not always acceptable to other people. They see using the best China and crystal, on a lace cloth, for your single breakfast, as you thinking you are too good to eat off a chipped plate or drink from a plastic mug.
This is not 'thinking you are better than other people'...it is realizing that you are entitled to enjoy life. I do not enjoy people who cannot write without swearing or crudities . I do not delete bad language because I speak better, I delete it because I do not enjoy listening or reading it. I find bad language intimidating and even distasteful, as I find rude people scary and not enjoyable. I am not claiming I am better than them, just that I do not wish the association. That is my choice, as it is yours to swear and shout and use crude humor.
Most of us have a slice of life handed to us on a platter. Some of us decide we want a better platter than what we were served, and work to improve the serving....Nobody has to live in a way they do not want to live.
When I was in my own Florist Shop, I had an advertisement for staff at the local CES, who sent down people for job interviews. They had to attend, to collect the unemployment, and were open about not wanting a job. When I was a young mother, I was working in a hotel at weekends to cover living costs. I had a boyfriend at the time, Steve, who was constantly trying to borrow money from me. When I told him there was work at the Hotel for him too, his reply, 'Oh I couldn't work in a pub, that's below me and not socially acceptable....." but he could try and borrow the money that I earned working at a pub. That he considered socially acceptable.
Life is full of opportunities and chances. You have give yourself what you want in life. You may be lucky to find someone else to pay your way, but not all of us are able to do that. Today we are more independent and free to make our own decisions.
Don't be like my Father, who was born with a golden platter, fell in love with someone who always envied him his background, and though married into it, would never accept what he was born to be and have. He died a sad and lonely man always saying, "if I had done this I would have been this" and still claiming undying love for my Mother
I may die alone too, because I chose to do what I believed I wanted and am, but unlike my father, I know that it is always in my power to create what I want in life. I will never stay with someone because they chain me with marriage, and my own love for them. I will also never stay in a job that expects me to not use my skills and talents, because other people feel threatened by what I do. Many of us stay in useless and unhappy jobs because we are afraid we may not find another. Work is there if you want to find it, and you can always start your own work too.
My life is good china and crystal glasses, expensive wholemeal bread, french perfume and freshly ground coffee beans. My life is Labels, and real diamonds and fur, and traveling where I want to go and spending time with real people, those I wish to spend time with.
I live for the present, and if that is seen as 'thinking I am better than other people', then maybe I am better than the person who thinks that I am not entitled to have what I have. Its all in the perception...you are what you see yourself as, and you are as other people see you.
Maybe there is a third view too..the person you really are, as God sees you. I cannot see with God's eyes, simply with my own, and sometimes through your eyes too.
Life is not meant to be easy, but it is not meant to be hard either You lie on the bed you make...so why make it uncomfortable.
Do you dance???
Maggi Carstairs 2008
I have always done the things I wanted to do in my life, or tried to do as many of the things I wanted to do.
My father was always saying," If I had done that I would now have or be this..." and this was to have a great impact on my life. One day I looked at his life, and thought, 'There is me in 20 years time..."
So, I looked at the things I needed to change in my life, and changed them...starting with my marriage.
I dissolved the negating marriage, I returned to study at University, and upgrade my Teaching and my other qualifications, I started painting and drawing again, I joined the Army Reserve, and I joined the groups I wanted to. I was a member of Toastmasters, Rotary, Penguins and Quot Quotta. I also joined the Australian College of Education and Educational Researchers, and started using my best Waterford Crystal, (which I bought one each pay), and I started buying upmarket labels, french perfumes, and giving myself things I had previously said I could not afford, and doing things like having weekends away and going out dancing and sailing and eventually learning to fly.
I still join what I want to join, start what I want to start, and work and play to the best of my desire and ability, and I have had, and am having a rich and full life. It is simply giving up your fear of thinking you are not entitled to the best, and settling for second best in life, that keeps so many of us afraid to venture outside known limits.
I am writing this because there are so many readers here who want to do something new with their lives and do not know how to do it....Start like the lady here...start using your best things and treating yourself, and taking some responsibility to care for yourself as well as others.
'I Hope You Dance... '
This was written by an 83-year-old woman to her friend. *The last line says it all. *
Dear Bertha,
I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working.
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.
"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.
I'm guessing; I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
.............................................................................................................
Why am I bringing back an old message?
I am talking this because it has still a message for us all..... Not only are we not living the lives we want to live, we are also negating, and being envious of others, who choose to live the life they want to live. Wasted energy when it can be used to laugh and smile and enjoy what the day has brought.
On Christmas Day, again I was shown that my life is still one that is envied by others. The statement that 'You think you are better than other people' halted me in my preparations for a Christmas Feast.
I took this to mean that the things I am doing are threatening another's security. I had forgotten in my delight of giving and living, that others see this in a different light to me. Enjoying life, and using skills and experiences, are seen as being better than others, by someone enjoying the very skills that are so freely given and shared, not as charity, but with love and enthusiasm.
By all means Dance when you hear the Music, but why feel lessened by the energy and joy of another, when you can be strengthened and motivated too, and also choose to dance, or just sit and watch. Why waste energy negating the pleasure of another and others? Join in, or go away.
In life it is futile to expect to be liked, admired, respected or even accepted by everyone.
We are drawn irresistibly towards some people. I read blogs, (Rooster and Tom, and Science) I read others and click delete. Looking at the reasons we are attracted, is also interesting, as the reasons invariably tells us about ourselves and our perception of our own person. I always turn away from bad language, and what I see as 'smutty talk', even if the content is good. We keep what we wish to keep, and discard that which we do not wish to keep, or that which threatens or challenges us in some way. Making your life as you choose, is not always acceptable to other people. They see using the best China and crystal, on a lace cloth, for your single breakfast, as you thinking you are too good to eat off a chipped plate or drink from a plastic mug.
This is not 'thinking you are better than other people'...it is realizing that you are entitled to enjoy life. I do not enjoy people who cannot write without swearing or crudities . I do not delete bad language because I speak better, I delete it because I do not enjoy listening or reading it. I find bad language intimidating and even distasteful, as I find rude people scary and not enjoyable. I am not claiming I am better than them, just that I do not wish the association. That is my choice, as it is yours to swear and shout and use crude humor.
Most of us have a slice of life handed to us on a platter. Some of us decide we want a better platter than what we were served, and work to improve the serving....Nobody has to live in a way they do not want to live.
When I was in my own Florist Shop, I had an advertisement for staff at the local CES, who sent down people for job interviews. They had to attend, to collect the unemployment, and were open about not wanting a job. When I was a young mother, I was working in a hotel at weekends to cover living costs. I had a boyfriend at the time, Steve, who was constantly trying to borrow money from me. When I told him there was work at the Hotel for him too, his reply, 'Oh I couldn't work in a pub, that's below me and not socially acceptable....." but he could try and borrow the money that I earned working at a pub. That he considered socially acceptable.
Life is full of opportunities and chances. You have give yourself what you want in life. You may be lucky to find someone else to pay your way, but not all of us are able to do that. Today we are more independent and free to make our own decisions.
Don't be like my Father, who was born with a golden platter, fell in love with someone who always envied him his background, and though married into it, would never accept what he was born to be and have. He died a sad and lonely man always saying, "if I had done this I would have been this" and still claiming undying love for my Mother
I may die alone too, because I chose to do what I believed I wanted and am, but unlike my father, I know that it is always in my power to create what I want in life. I will never stay with someone because they chain me with marriage, and my own love for them. I will also never stay in a job that expects me to not use my skills and talents, because other people feel threatened by what I do. Many of us stay in useless and unhappy jobs because we are afraid we may not find another. Work is there if you want to find it, and you can always start your own work too.
My life is good china and crystal glasses, expensive wholemeal bread, french perfume and freshly ground coffee beans. My life is Labels, and real diamonds and fur, and traveling where I want to go and spending time with real people, those I wish to spend time with.
I live for the present, and if that is seen as 'thinking I am better than other people', then maybe I am better than the person who thinks that I am not entitled to have what I have. Its all in the perception...you are what you see yourself as, and you are as other people see you.
Maybe there is a third view too..the person you really are, as God sees you. I cannot see with God's eyes, simply with my own, and sometimes through your eyes too.
Life is not meant to be easy, but it is not meant to be hard either You lie on the bed you make...so why make it uncomfortable.
Do you dance???
Maggi Carstairs 2008
Tags: accepting, chances, dance, do, envy, life, others, taking, you
Add a Comment
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Comment by Steve Wright on January 6, 2009 at 3:18pm -
As long as you don't mind how small your audience is, it's never too late to start dancing. I'd invite you to my debut, but I just realized that it's already come and gone.
The JET program English teachers put on a musical every spring in Hokkaido, & they did "Oklahoma" last May. I tried like crazy to teach them the "dosy do" (sp?) from square dancing, but it was just a bridge too far. It was so easy to learn at my sister's wedding that I thought I could teach it to the 3 men and 4 women who were on stage at the beginning of the second act. No such luck. Instead, we did the concentric circle trot- boys outside facing in, girls inside facing out. It took no time to learn, but everyone had to figure out how to start on their left foot and count to 16 (to change directions). That was enough to keep things ... interesting!
Steve in Bibai
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Comment by Maggi Carstairs on December 30, 2008 at 7:52pm
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I have always been too tall to be a ballet Dancer...Grin!! ...one thing I wanted to do but didn't.
Am I too old to make the stage I wonder???????
I have always envied their bodies and fitness levels...and grace.
The story of my life is aptly called 'Dancing with Dingoes'..so I took up other forms of dancing instead ..and Life is one big dance anyway.. sometimes sidestepping.
Grin!!!
Love your comments guys...and Corinne's picture
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Comment by Steve Wright on December 30, 2008 at 5:19pm
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Dancing is a knife that cuts two ways, imho, Maggi. I was required to take 2 physical education classes in undergraduate, and I shoehorned in the one sport I most enjoyed (swimming) and the one thing I thought I could never enjoy (modern dance). Learning what the difference between modern and classical dance was interesting, especially because I had no idea what classical dance was, either.
First the movie "Fame" and then the movie version of "A Chorus Line" came out, and I've never been able to pass a full-length mirror without some little gesture or hop coming out.
I have so many ideas I wanted to share with you, but I'm going to have to sign off for now. Keep dancing, y'all.
Steve in Bibai
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Comment by Corinne Denise Graehame on December 30, 2008 at 10:09am -
I used to do Ballet and Tap with Madame Bohanna for 3 years from when I was 7 to when I was 9. I got to be a fairy at the local Town Hall and then a tree in the panyomime Babes In The Wood. I love dancing too. Can follow a routine if I have to, but I'm a little on the large side to do classes now. LOL!
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